26. Listening to

all of Ryland’s cute noises

In other news. Bleh, bleh, bleh.

Negative stuff that I have to get out under the break.

So I binged again today, but it wasn’t on as bad of food since it was all done at home. At first I was genuinely hungrier than I expected. Then I just kept finding things to eat. Not a whole lot of any one thing, but still enough that I stopped around 3 and still wasn’t hungry just now (about 9:30). I ate an apple anyway because I would be starving during the night if I didn’t eat anything.

My pants that did fit are now too tight and the ones that were loose but passable now fit. Jeremy hasn’t said anything yet, but I haven’t let him see me change in a few days. I really think he must be able to tell even with my clothes on.

Tomorrow is the pumpkin carving, and I wanted to do a before & after with a pic from ‘07 when I was nearly at my high weight, but I don’t think you’ll even be able to tell a difference. I’m just so disgusted with myself. I’m bloated all over- my face looks chubby again and my rings are no longer loose.

I don’t know what’s triggered it this time, but this is the worst it’s been in several months.