Ryland is a month old today, so I wanted to get an estimate of his weight by weighing myself holding him and then without him.

With him, it read 142.4, and without it read 132.8. I don’t think our digital scale can really be that precise in that way, so I doubt he’s really about 9 1/2 lbs since he was just 7 lb 11oz at the doctor 2 1/2 weeks ago.

Because my eating has been off, my body image has been, too. Last night when I got dressed for church, I thought my stomach looked so big (I was in a high-waisted skirt), but when Jeremy saw me, he said how good I looked and how he was glad I didn’t start dressing like all the other moms. 

I expected the scale to read at 3 or 4 lbs higher because I had just eaten and I was fully dressed in jeans, t-shirt, & flip-flops.

But now that I know I haven’t really gained that much, I still can’t get the image in the mirror straight. To my eyes, I look like I did at 140. I feel like my stomach is protruding so much. I didn’t exercise yesterday because we didn’t sleep well and then Ryland was fussy most of the day. I don’t like using extra energy when I’m sleep deprived, and once he was calm an napping, I had other things I needed to take care of like our bathroom that hadn’t been cleaned since before he was born. (ew, I know.)

I was going to walk with him today, but we weren’t able to get out of the house until it was nearly 80, so I WILL ride the bike tonight.